Changes

This blog has always been about my issues and the way I work through them. My thoughts are about changing that. I believe that I will use this blog as both; partly the way I work through things and partly just a way to get myself out there.
So here is an issue kind of thing.
When I was around age 15 I decided that I wanted to go by my middle name, Nicole, when I reached age 18. I told everyone that was my plan. I gave the reasons that my first name, Rashell, is hard for people to say and spell. When I turned 17, I started college. From day one, I went by the name Nicole. I figured that it would be easier even if it was a year early. The change didn't really happen till last winter. I had to explain my reasons so much, I began to question them. I realized, after some help, that I was changing names because I was changing. I left the old me behind; I wanted it to be my major change that made me into an adult. I thought of Rashell as a child and Nicole as the mature adult. Rashell was a child spiritually who was undisciplined in spiritual things and took advantage of the time she had and Nicole was the perfect person.
Now I know that's not the case.
I haven't really changed. Yes I go by a different name but I'm the same me. I act almost the same; the difference is that I've matured. I'm trying to say that just because you change one thing like your name, it's not really going to change you. Example: Just because you put corn label on a can of beans doesn't mean that it's a can corn; it's still beans with a different name. That's all I did. I had hoped that it would change me but now I realize that I have to do more than that to change.
So thanks for reading,
Nicole